


crown of love

by littlestrideer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Sadstuck, im guessing???? yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlestrideer/pseuds/littlestrideer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sometimes you just have to know when to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	crown of love

**Author's Note:**

> this was already posted on tumblr but i never posted it here
> 
> so yeah

“When are you coming back?”

It’s a stupid question, but you ask it anyway. He looks up from his suitcase, full of nice suits, under clothes, a few books, and his camera. His room is almost bare, the only remains of someone staying there a few pictures hanging on the wall and his bed, the sheets half hanging off the mattress. He takes a deep breath, but never looks directly at you. 

“‘Dunno.”

If you hadn’t already prepared yourself for this, your heart would’ve dropped. “Alright.”

A silence fills the room. Your stomach has been doing flips since you stepped into the room. He tucks something else away towards the back of the case before zipping it close, hesitant for only a moment before grabbing two of his bags, turning to face you. “I have to-“

“No.” You shake your head, feeling the tears spring to your eyes. You feel naked without your shades. “No.”

Dave’s face is slowly cracking. He steps towards you and you stand strong. “Dirk.”

“I’m sorry.” Your blood is burning, your body aches, hot tears run down your face. You are a bumbling mess and your heart feels like it could just beat out of your chest. “Please.”

He seems to stiffen and you try to suck it up. You know his answer before he gives it. He passes by you without so much as a glance. Your knees buckle and suddenly you’re praying to a man you’ve never believed in. 

He passes twice more, grabbing his bags silently. The last time he stands in front of you, looking down for what feels like forever, but is no more than five seconds. 

“I love you.” The words spill from your lips before you can stop them, incoherently but he hears you loud and clear.

He walks past you. 

You stop crying. 

The sound of the car door slamming, the sound of the engine coming to life, every noise is dull. It’s hard to breathe and your throat gets tight. His room still smells like him. 

His bed feels wrong without him. The sheets don’t make you stop shivering. The sun bleeds into the room and you make yourself climb out of bed. You don’t know how long you’ve been asleep and you don’t care. 

The laptop whirs to life and as everything loads up you’re spammed with messages. All of them read similarly and you don’t have the energy to defend yourself. You hardly have the energy to read them. Hal questions whether or not you want him to wipe them. You shake your head slowly and he replies for you. 

You tell him to stop when you see a wall of red text you hadn’t seen before. 

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeousTestified [TT] at 04:13 —

TG: i hope you understand someday why i had to leave  
TG: its better for the both of us this way  
TG: we just made too many close calls and as much as id like to fight for us  
TG: sometimes you have to know when to let go  
TG: i know its hard  
TG: but i guess were both pretty experienced at this  
TG: we were wrong from the start and i knew that  
TG: you knew that  
TG: and look where it got us  
TG: brothers dont do that  
TG: we shouldnt have done that  
TG: if it werent for my pr team i could be in jail right now  
TG: youd be shipped off to who knows where  
TG: id never see you again and youd never get to enjoy your life  
TG: dont get hung up over me  
TG: youre a good kid and you can do things in life if you try  
TG: i know roxy still has her eyes out for you  
TG: should call her up sometime  
TG: or maybe try that jake kid again  
TG: i just want you to be happy alright  
TG: you can be happy without me  
TG: you can be anything you want to be without me  
TG: i dont know where im headed  
TG: right now i havent even left the city  
TG: i dont want to go even if i should  
TG: maybe ill visit john  
TG: hes probably rolling in his grave right now  
TG: ill fall off the radar for awhile maybe  
TG: show up every now and then  
TG: youre probably sleeping now and im still talking to myself  
TG: i left something for you in the closet  
TG: its pretty dumb but this is all kind of stupid  
TG: guess ill try and get a few hours in too  
TG: i uh  
TG: im sorry  
TG: i love you  
TG: i probably wont ever stop  
TG: this is stupid i just  
TG: sorry  
— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeousTestified [TT] at 04:51 —

You don’t remember getting up from the computer, or opening the door to his closet, or anything that happened after reading that. Somehow you make your way back to your own room and somehow your hands manage to grasp the chalk and somehow, your hands fly around the floor and somehow you’re smiling again. 

You curl up on the floor that night, and every night after. It’s not the same, but you make do. Things will get better in time, you just have to put a little heart into it yourself. That’s all you can do. And that’s all he would’ve wanted from you.


End file.
